Awful and Everywhere: Self-Protection and Wellbeing in the Face of Vicarious Trauma

TRIGGER WARNING: this post will be discussing how to cope with and practice psychological/emotional safety in the face of traumatic material or hearing the traumas of others. In particular, I will reference the Epstein files in very vague detail (referencing their existence, broad themes about the type of materials being shared across social media, and some discussion of the social and political discourse surrounding the files). I will not be sharing specifics of the content of the files, examples, pictures, or quotes. If you are unsure whether or not you have the mental and emotional space to continue reading, please listen to that instinct and take care of yourself.

The world of social media and American politics have been teeming with posts, references, and content from the infamous and deeply disturbing “Epstein Files.” Like many others, I have been unable to avoid reminders of or posts regarding content from these horrific documents. Even within conversations with folks in my personal life, conversations about these “files” have been somewhat pervasive and in many cases, inappropriately descriptive. One common thread has arisen in both my personal life and the dialogues I’ve been seeing online: this material is causing intense psychological and emotional discomfort and pain. And it is entirely reasonable that this is the case. The deepest pain of many survivors and explicit details about the “alleged” perpetrators has been on display with a myriad of responses ranging from invalidating and dismissive to consuming and devastating. Many people are sharing and displaying outrage and anger regarding the content of these documents. Many still have been devastated and sickened. And honestly? I’ve been right there with all of them.

I have been deeply troubled by the ways in which folks are engaging with the content of these documents both on a personal and professional level. Through my professional lens as a counselor who specializes in trauma work, I see great risk of psychological and emotional harm, vicarious trauma, and intense physiological discomfort for anyone engaging with the files and their content. I also see an even greater risk of psychological/emotional harm for folks who are survivors of victimization and sexual violence or who have loved ones who are survivors, both groups of which may be uniquely triggered by the information in and public discourse surrounding the Epstein files. Through my personal lens, I have found myself experiencing my own significant emotional and psychological reactions and trauma responses to the content and dialogue that seems to be inescapable.

Intermingled with the complex and deeply painful nature of these files and their content is the social pressure to “stay informed.” Many voices in media and politics are (rightfully) clamoring for the stories of these survivors to be heard and to ensure that pressure remains constant and steady on the authorities that are responsible for gatekeeping this information to provide the “full” documents. I fully support the push for justice for the survivors and accountability for public officials, as do many others. However, I also see the ways in which this push to “keep up the pressure” and “stay informed” could and does push people to engage with this content beyond the limits that genuinely honor their capacity, and this is dangerous. Our limits of what we can and cannot emotionally or psychologically handle are there for a reason: to protect us. Disregarding these limits, for whatever reason, is almost certainly going to cause hurt, if not harm.

I want to be very direct about what I think is a critical point in this dialogue that is often missed: choosing to not read or look at the content of these files does not mean that you do not support the survivors or the pursuit of justice. There is a false dichotomy presented in much of the online discourse around the files that you have to choose your own comfort or the survivors and justice. This is simply not true. You can choose safety for yourself and supporting justice, and in fact, true support of justice requires being attentive to your limits and wellbeing. I have seen a flood of therapists, counselors, and social workers taking to social media to make the same impassioned statement I am making now as well: it is healthy and wise to step away and not engage from traumatic content like this beyond what you can safely handle.

Many folks that I have seen discussing the negative impacts of taking in traumatic material like what is contained in the Epstein files have mentioned a very important term: vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma is typically viewed as a professional risk for folks who engage in victims services work or other crisis-facing and allied professions (such as counselors, social workers, emergency physicians, first responders, law enforcement). However, there is a broader application of the concept. Vicarious trauma can refer to a negative impact on one’s well-being as a result of exposure to or listening to the stories of others’ traumatic experiences. While it isn’t explicitly a “clinical term,” it is a helpful framework for making sense of why hearing about the trauma of others can sometimes cause such deep and intense pain and discomfort in ourselves. Vicarious trauma is typically a cumulative experience, meaning it seldom comes from one-time exposures to someone else’s trauma. If we are referring to a response to a single or one-time exposure to trauma, that is a different concept called secondary trauma, which is the subject of another post entirely. Given how much the social discourse has been flooded with the Epstein files, I think it is fair to say this exposure is decidedly chronic and cumulative at this point.

Vicarious trauma can show up in a myriad of ways such as changes in mood, changes in the way one engages with their work or social life, and even physiological symptoms. It often has a dramatic impact on someone’s wellbeing that can mirror other mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). What is critical is that this impact on your nervous system, emotions, thoughts, and interactions with the world around you is very real, even if you were not directly exposed to the trauma you heard about from someone else. Professionals in helping fields are often taught or given specific tools to manage vicarious trauma and maintain wellbeing. These tools are critical for the wellbeing of those providers and for allowing them to do the work that they do. As a counselor specializing in trauma work, I underwent training for managing my own trauma responses, reactions, and vicarious trauma during my education like other trauma-focused counselors and service providers. That learning curve was steep, but it led to tools that I use on a daily basis, both in my professional and personal life to protect my wellbeing so I can show up effectively, ethically, and empathetically for anyone and everyone I work with. However, outside of learning these skills in a professional capacity, these skills are rarely, if ever, taught. I firmly believe that not having these skills in the face of everything that we are experiencing and going through as a society and culture at the moment is not only hurting us but also harming us.

So what are some of these skills and tools that you can use to protect yourself and your wellbeing from the impact of vicarious trauma? I’m going to list a few critical ones here, but I highly recommend looking at some of the resources in the reference section of this post. I am a firm believer that a good coping tool kit is broad, diverse, and ever expanding, so I encourage you to look into additional resources and ideas beyond what I’ve summarized here.

Build self-awareness and check in with yourself frequently

Pay attention to what emotions you’re feeling, recurring thoughts, and discomfort/tension/pain that you feel in your body. Check in with yourself regarding when you feel like things are or are becoming too much to handle. The best way to set yourself up for using healthy coping tools is to be aware of when you need them. Self-awareness is the way to open that door.

Learn and use mindfulness skills

Mindfulness skills are a fantastic set of tools to acknowledge what you’re feeling or experiencing without letting it consume you. It is the process of observing without judging, and it can include some phenomenal comforting and grounding techniques. This article by Positive Psychology presents a great introduction to mindfulness and grounding techniques as well as some structured and unstructured practices and tools you can try for yourself.

Comfort yourself

This one often feels silly, but I can tell you with certainty that it does make an impact. When you are feeling distressed, uncomfortable, fearful, grieving, angry, or hopeless, take the time to comfort yourself through things that are meaningful and impactful to you. Maybe you find comfort in going to the gym and working out. Maybe you find comfort in curling up in a fuzzy blanket and watching a cartoon. Maybe you find comfort in talking with a loved one. Keep in touch with the things that comfort you, and utilize them whenever you need them. Acknowledging the need for comfort and responding to it is a sign of emotional strength and resilience.

Take care of your physical health

When we are distressed, it is incredibly easy to ignore or become unaware of our physical needs, however, that is often when we need those things the most. Be sure to eat when your body feels hungry, and if it doesn’t feel hungry, try to eat at least two meals a day and a few snacks. Practice sleep hygiene and take time to prioritize rest; this includes naps! Be sure to shower or bathe, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and change your clothes regularly. While these may not seem to be related to coping with vicarious trauma, the art and practice of physical self care can have a very healthy impact on our nervous system, and in times of distress, our nervous system needs all the love and support we can give it.

Limit exposure to traumatic content or conversations about traumatic content

This is where I want to call back to what I said earlier in this post: choosing to not engage with traumatic content does not mean you are not supporting survivors or the pursuit of justice for those survivors. It does mean that you are being mindful in how you show that support. You absolutely must take care of yourself in order to engage in advocacy in a healthy way. If it is too much to take in, close the app, remove yourself from the conversation, or change the subject. Saying something like “I understand this is an important topic, but I do not have the emotional space for it right now” or “I know how important this is, but talking about it any more right now will harm me” is a perfectly valid thing to say or share when you need to create distance, whether you’re saying it to yourself or someone else

Connect with a mental healthcare provider

If you are struggling to cope with the impact of or reality of traumatic content or traumatic exposure, a licensed mental health provider can help tailor your coping tool kit to your specific needs and hurts, give you space to process and be supported, and help you take care of yourself in the midst of something deeply challenging and painful. Trauma of any type is complex, multifaceted, and deeply impactful. It is both a strength and a healthy choice to seek professional support when you need it. Needing professional support does not mean that you are weak or “too sensitive.” It means you are having a very human, natural, and normal response to something deeply disturbing, horrifying, and painful. This step becomes especially critical if you feel some of your response to the traumatic experience(s) of others may be rooted in your own survival history or trauma in your background.

No matter how you are feeling or reacting to any traumatic content in the media or public discourse, taking care of yourself is critical. Talk to your loved ones, consider trying some of the strategies I mentioned above, and if needed, seek professional support. It is hard and heavy to sit with so much of what we are forced to face and acknowledge exists in the world. Your wellbeing still matters, and you deserve to prioritize your own safety and wellness.
Choosing to step back and protect your own energy is a vital part of staying healthy and engaged. Whether you are looking to sharpen your mindfulness skills or simply want a dedicated space to focus on your own wellbeing, we are here to support your journey. Schedule a time to talk at 855.607.8242 or by email at appointments@bhclinic.com.